From Cairo to Cook County, Moultrie County to Macomb, approximately 200 urban, suburban and rural couples across all parts of Illinois have participated in a program designed to reconnect with one another.
“Any relationship, of course, comes with highs, lows, struggles and obstacles,” says Lauren Olson of Mansfield, who, along with her partner, Joe Viola, participated in the University of Illinois (U of I) Strong Couples Project. Olson believes what resulted for the pair was “being more well-equipped to tackle those, especially as a second adult relationship – both of us are previously married and divorced and we have children from those relationships as well.”
The free program, launched by U of I Extension in 2021, serves as a relationship education initiative. It mixes internet-based activities with coaching sessions facilitated by trained individuals. Couples typically take a month-and-a-half or so to finish.
“They want to improve communication in their relationship, make sure individuals feel heard and allow opportunities to have difficult discussions without it turning in to a heated discussion or a blowup argument,” says Michele Crawford, Extension community health educator in Cook County who serves as one of several Strong Couples Project coaches. “The role of a coach is to provide guidance and support.”
Crawford cites other program components that include what’s called “protecting the positive” and making time for fun and friendship. Olson and Viola point to one exercise that had the pair compile a deck of “date cards,” or ways to date, written on index cards.
“It is easy to kind of just slide on by and just respond to things instead of being intentional about it,” Viola says. “You know, the date cards, we pull them out every now and then.”
He points out Strong Couples is not “couples counseling or couples therapy,” but provides tools and tips he, Olson and other program participants gained during the process.
The program’s leader has analyzed data gathered from the program that points to improvements in couple outcomes such as improved communications, their sense of being a team and confidence their relationships can handle whatever troubles come its way.
“When you are able to make positive changes in the couple relationship, it spills over and has what we like to call ‘collateral benefits,’” says Allen Barton, Ph.D., U of I assistant professor and Extension specialist in human development and family studies in the university’s College of Agricultural, Consumer and Environmental Sciences. “When things aren’t going well at home, things aren’t going well.”
Barton says research shows the first year or two after a marriage, along with the period when young children are in the home, prove to be times of heightened relationship distress. Still, he believes it has also showed that all partners, of all ages, stand to benefit from participating in Strong Couples.
“No matter where you live or how long you’ve been together, the program resonates and will be helpful to people to have the relationship you want to have,” he says.
If you and your significant other might be interested in exploring Strong Couples, see more here.
For an in-depth look at the program and to hear from participants Lauren Olson and Joe Viola, along with U of I Extension’s Michele Crawford and Allen Barton, listen to this episode of the Partners podcast.
Listen to “In Need of Relationship Renewal?” on Spreaker.
See more: Refresh, Repair, Renew Your Relationship